I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
