honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
