Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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