who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
