We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
