his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
