Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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