PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
