i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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