chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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