I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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