I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
