he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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