Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
