Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
