I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
