Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's just like the Real World with babies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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