i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
