just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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