Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
