I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
