Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
