I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The adults are the big ones right?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
