i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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