I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
