your parents love me but you hate me
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
ttyl tear gas
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
