Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
