i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
