cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
