well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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