I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
