i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
