Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
