As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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