She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize