I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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