While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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