come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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