just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
