This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
