No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
