she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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