Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
