I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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