just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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