The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
