god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
