She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
