Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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