love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize