that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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