Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
