you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
