Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize