i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
