idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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